Writer's Blog

Inspiration comes when it feels like it

Archive for the month “February, 2013”

Lost

He stared out of the window as the scenery flashed by. The sky was grey, the grass was grey and the sun was grey. He closed his eyes for a short moment and only listened to the ticking of the rain on the car and for a moment he felt calm. A sad kind of peace, like the silence before a storm. It felt as if something was about to happen and nature tried to warn him. He didn’t want to be warned. For a moment he just wanted to enjoy the peace, with no second thoughts. This rare feeling that was in the middle of something was precious. When someone is extremely happy, the switch to sadness hits them that much harder. For a moment, he didn’t want to switch. He didn’t want to feel extreme happiness or extreme sadness but for once he enjoyed staying in the middle. Empty. Calm. He turned of his thoughts. His hands glued to the steering wheel, his eyes focused on the empty road in front of him. He didn’t know why he was driving nor did he know his destination. Let’s get lost. He thought to himself. Let’s just get lost and not come back for however long I feel like it. Let’s wander around and let the world come to me. Let’s stop trying and let everything just go the way nature wants it to. Sometimes that’s what someone needs. A small smile formed on his lips. Why not? He clutched the steering wheel. It’s a choice he made. A decision he wouldn’t let go. The smile on his lips grew as he looked straight ahead. With his full weight he hit the gas pedal. He raced along the road and let the rush of the speed take over his thoughts. The gravity pushed him back in his seat. His shaking hands told him to stop driving, but his mind kept telling him he was ok. He drove faster every second, he ignored the scenery flashing by and he ignored the world that started spinning around him. He felt the tires starting to slip off the wet road, but he didn’t hesitate to go on. Suddenly he lost all control. The car started spinning, the grey of the sky merged with the grey of the trees and everything together formed one grey stain. He closed his eyes let himself lose control and didn’t try to regain it. He felt the car turning over many times, but his mind was somewhere else. Then it all stopped. Everything was quiet. He opened his eyes and looked surprised. He let out a small sigh. Stupid. He chuckled to himself. Things got out of hand again. He didn’t get his own mind. He didn’t understand why he did most of the things he did, but he knew he always got out alive. Something didn’t allow him to give up and that thing somehow encouraged him to try to find the edge. He stepped out of the car and looked around. He didn’t see a road anymore. There only was a calm lake surrounded by grass and a few trees. He laid down in the grass next to the lake and stared at the sky. Suddenly he felt something hitting him. “Hey… Hey dude.” He quickly stood up and looked behind him. His eyes widened in surprise. In front of him he saw a girl wearing a bright red coat. There wasn’t anything grey about her. Suddenly there was colour. Before he could speak a word she continued. “Hey, whatsyourname.. You’re sitting on my spot!” He looked around at the place where he was sitting and looked back at her again. “W.. Where did you…” “Come from?” She finished for him and she grinned. “Ah.. No where. I’m just a fantasy. A figment of your imagination!” He looked confused, but she didn’t give him the time to think and shoved him to the side and sat down on his spot. “So. What were you thinking?” She said as she got comfortable.

Ok sorry guys XD I started this story and halfway through, just like the guy in it I lost my destination. Any suggestions? Because I’m lost πŸ˜› I got three words, this time from Amir, to write a story with. The words were Glue, Car and Fantasy. At least those three are in there somewhere but now only a suitable ending??? ^^’ I’m posting this because I really feel like posting something and maybe someone can give me advice?

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This is Frank

This is Frank. Say hi to him…

I won’t have a long life. I know that. My kind never leads a long life. That’s why I’ve decided to lead a fulfilling one. I want adventure and excitement. I want to travel and see the world. I want to laugh in the face of danger and melt in the face of love. I will definitely live a full life. I remember when I said this to myself for the first time. Young and naive, excited to see the world yet lacking the means to do so. In my eagerness I left my home, unknowing of the dangers that laid ahead. I said goodbye to my family and my friends, the ones who were dear to me to seek fulfilment. Instead I got caught in a net of reality. I got lifted out of the water, I was fighting for every breath and I slowly felt my hopes and dreams drying up when I saw the big round eyes of the little boy who took me. I glanced at his wide smile and said goodbye to my life. If it was to end, somehow I felt happy t was at the hands of this cute little boy. He went fishing with his dad. He probably had a fun day too. My life for someone’s happiness. It wasn’t much to give but somehow I felt happy.

“David, go put that fish in the water bag!” He looked up and stopped staring at his new friend for a second. “Hey, you can’t keep him if he doesn’t breathe you know!” A hand went through his hair. He quickly jumped up with the fish in his little hands and slid it in a water bag. “Dad!” He said with a wide grin. “Look how cool he is!” His father grinned at him and nodded. “Come on little fisherman, let’s go home so we can cook it for ya!” The boy’s eyes widened and he stared with astonishment at his dad. Seconds later his dad started to laugh. “Just kidding. Tonight we dine with pizza! Your little friend here can stay in your brand new tank with the other fishes. With a satisfied smile the boy ran to his bike to cycle home next to his dad.

I saw things I never had imagined. I wanted excitement and I got more than I could ever have wished for. I still remember that day when I left my loved ones. Was it worth it? I opened my eyes again and found myself in a plastic bag. For a moment panic struck me like a raging fire. I swam around in hundreds of circles in high speed, but soon I found out nothing worked. I took a breath and I stared in front of me. What I saw was better than the lake I was born in. A beautiful spectacle of colours in front of me. The blue of the sky former a perfect contrast with the green grass and the white clouds. Everywhere around me there was nature. Never had I seen the sea so blue. Never did I know there were creatures that could fly and never did I know the comfort of confinement. I came to his home. I was fed everyday, he talked to me every night and in between I could watch people coming back and forth through his room. Thanks to this boy I found out life doesn’t have to be dangerous or continuously exciting to be fulfilling. The image of this little boy playing on the ground with his little toy train will never leave my mind. The simple things matter. Even in the short life of a fish like me.

Guys… I really don’t know what sense this story makes XD Let’s just say it’s a fish teaching us something about life. In my mind the fish’s name is Frank, so say hi to him ^_^ The inspiration was… I asked Leo to give me three words to write a story with. The words were Fishes, Bike and Train. And this is what came out of it. It happens more often that I make little sense so it’s ok I guess ^^’

Saranghae Epic Weekend

Once upon a time there was a girl who was very picky with her friends. Because let’s be honest here. There are two kinds of friends. Friends, and Real friends. This girl needed the second kind, someone to trust with anything, someone to laugh with and be crazy with. This girl didn’t get one of these, but more than she expected and among them there were 5 friends. The six together called themselves Saranghae, Korean for ‘I love you’. 3 Guys: Joshua, a true gamer a.k.a. Afropunzel. Maikel, the movie/computer expert and the metalhead xD. Mike, the Asia addict and the expert on K-pop! 3 Girls: Emily, the social worker and the stressed bunny from Alice in Wonderland. Raluca, the one with the voice *-* and the crazy one. Samantha a.k.a. Turty, the random one and the youngest of them all.Β Common interests: Anime, Asia, Games, Movies, Faith, Cars, Music and lot’s more. Common qualities: Loving, Caring, Sweet, Evil, Mean but most of all CRAZY. Well you probably guessed the girl is me and these people are AWESOME πŸ˜€

Last weekend was in one word EPIC. One word is not enough to describe it so here it goes. For Emily’s 21st birthday she organised a party on the Saturday. Of course for us that means a party that starts on Friday morning and ends on Sunday night xD So Friday morning I dragged all my stuff to her place, we decorated, baked a Ben & Jerry’s Cake and held a sword fight with the big balloons forming 21. We got to meet another awesome/crazy person, Fien, and were random as much as possible πŸ˜€ At around half past 6 the guest from Belgium arrived πŸ˜€ Markus, Leo and Ralu πŸ˜€ I never thought I’d be the girl to jump up and down to get to hug someone but I was πŸ˜€ It was so cool to see them again!! But there was not much time so we quickly *uhum* hopped into a car with seven people *squeeeeze* and went to church for the Friday Night For You, an event organised by Emily, Maikel and Moi. Everything went great and the highlights were seeing my two awesome sisters again (they’re such good friends that they’re much more), laughing to tears when talking to them, having Ralu meet them and seeing them get along great and of course hearing Ralu singing her special in church πŸ˜€ At the end of the night we went home again and prepared for a short night, because come on.. No one actually sleeps at 12pm right?

The next day was the moment of truth. Well almost XD First we went to church with the 7 of us again. At 11am there was a little bit of absolute Epicness! Ralu’s radio debut!! You saw our group silently walking out of the last few minutes of Sabbath school to go absolutely completely fangirl over the ipad where we listened to Ralu’s cover of People help the people! Her full name was mentioned 3 times, her facebook page was promoted and right when the song ended the presenter let out an “Oh Yeah…” πŸ˜€ Maybe it’s too soon to say that, but in my mind I’m her biggest fan πŸ˜€ So I’m promoting her facebook page: Maria Raluca Dica & David Martens.Β Also take a look at her covers! This one came on the radio:

And next Saturday in the Dutch time zone at 11am go to www.radiospes.beΒ and click Luister Live to hear her πŸ˜€ Sunday 5pm is also a possibility πŸ˜€

So enough of the promotion and to the rest of the day XD We went home again, this time with 8 people in the car (duuh there’s always room) and the party started. Saranghae had prepared an awesome surprise for the birthday girl and we didn’t hesitate to make her extra curious >:D But the surprise and the gift weren’t completely finished yet so we had to run back and forth all the time, at that time to Emm’s annoyance I guess xD. Then at night we took everyone to the perfect spot and covered Emm’s eyes while continuing preparations. Organised by Saranghae, executed by everyone and with special thanks to Ralu we bought 10 sky lanterns and send them up in the air to give Emily her own little Tangled scene. After that we let up fireworks and quickly ran home again xD (At that point I kinda forgot that’s a little bit illegal ^^’) Emily was welcomes with party poppers and we took a lot of pictures πŸ˜€ Finally halfway through the night the Saranghae gift was ready, A pillow with all kinds of sweet things from us written on it, and inside it there was a picture frame with Emm’s picture in the middle, and our pictures surrounding her πŸ˜€ It was great to see her so happy πŸ˜€ And as the cherry on top, it snowed πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ The rest of the night was basically fun games, chatting randomness, a lot more randomness and it ended around 5:30. Unfortunately for me I had to wake up at 8:30 but the rest of the group stayed until 6pm or something πŸ˜› The saddest thing of this weekend was that it ended 😦 I can’t believe I have to go back to missing those people again >_< But it was definitely worth it! The amount of love was overwhelming!! πŸ˜€

❀

Man I really can’t be concise with these kind of things XD But well, I don’t want to be πŸ˜€

I should be sleeping

Dear Bloggers,

It’s 4 am in the morning after a long day and here I am writing. This means, I have something on my mind and I feel like telling it, even though I’ve probably said it a lot in previous blogs too. Still, it is 4am so I don’t expect a lot of sense to come out of my head right now xD.

Anyways, a lot of stuff has been going on lately in my life. Some are bad things, some are nerve wrecking and annoying, but most of them are good. Better even, they’re great and they make me feel like jumping up and down cheering for how lucky I am. Just now I hung up after a late night skype call with an awesome person and I realised it again. I start smiling, laughing, feeling lucky, acting crazy and smiling again. The friends I have around me right now are extremely important to me, I can rely on them to make me smile whenever I see them and I trust them with the world. They’re the kind of people that give me faith in humanity and they make up for all the bad things around me. I feel so incredibly blessed I don’t even know how to describe this with words (maybe because it’s 4am…) Lately I keep repeating “Why do I deserve this?” Seriously, Father in heaven, you know me better than I even know myself… You know I’m not that good, why do you keep showering me with blessings? (not that I mind though, so You don’t have to stop or anything…) I don’t know why I deserve this, or what I did to be so blessed, but I’ve decided not to think about it too much. Instead I’m gonna take the time to thank God for this. Secondly I’m taking the time to thank my friends who are there for me whether I want them to or not xD Guys, (you know who you are) You Are Freaking AWESOME. Why? This is why:

– You’re crazy. This is one Necessary quality because hanging out with normal people is hard!

– You’re honest. If I’m a mess, don’t go telling me I look ok. That’s useless xD

– You’re reliable. I can count on you, whenever, where ever.

– You’re sweet/evil. Just the right balance between both.

– You’re you. You guys are more you than most people are, if you get what I mean xD

– You’re my friends That makes you awesome per definition.

I could make a long list of qualities, but it’s 4:30 now. Maybe it’s about time I go to bed? Thank God I have you guys and thank you for existing! I love you so very much, friends are really the family you choose for yourself! Now let’s hope this blog makes as much sense tomorrow morning as it does now ^^’ Byeee

That One Kid

“What are you doing here?”

The words were ringing in my head. They resounded in the empty shell of my mind. They fell inside my head, they echoed and they slowly faded away. I didn’t understand their meaning, or rather, I didn’t want to understand. What was I doing here? Was there any purpose at all? I glanced sideways to the little boy. His bright round eyes were piercing my very existence. Their purity was mocking me, laughing at me like I was filth. No, that wasn’t his intention, but intentions only go so far. What really mattered was the message that came through. The true, heartfelt mockery that would later grow inside him, despising people like me, spitting at my being. Not yet, but soon. Still I couldn’t feel angry at him, at what was to come. He was too… Innocent. Heh, Innocence. Must be a beautiful thing.

“Not sure kid. It’s not a lot, that’s for sure.”

I tried to smile, but when it didn’t work it was easier to just look away.

“Well, isn’t it boring?”

“It’s as boring as you make it. Besides, I like boring. Boring is good.”

“No it’s not!” His eyes widened and he clenched his little fists together forming a ball. He seemed upset. “Boring is boring! Fun is fun!” Little kid logic right there.

“Any other suggestions then?” My lips were smiling, but my eyes were just tired.

“Why don’t you just leave?”

Leave. As if it was that easy. Damn kid logic. If I could leave I would have a long time ago, just like any other sane person would.

“Well kid, if you’ve been in the darkness for as long as I have you don’t simply leave. You get left, and that’s a whole different story.” The boy blew up his cheeks and heavily shook his head in disagreement. I looked up in his determined blue eyes and he smiled.

“Follow me.”

“I’d rather not kid, go home to somewhere safer for ya ok?”

“Follow me!” He repeated louder this time. Before I could do anything I felt his soft little hand grabbing mine. In rush he had me running behind him. Out of the dark alley that was reeking of beer. Into the streets with people staring at this strange scene, through the crowded roads with loud cars honking at us and into the small, nearby forest. As he led me through the trees I spotted a small wooden hut. Well crafted, stable, but small. Without hesitation the boy ran into the hut with his hands still wrapped around mine. The inside was surprisingly spacious. There was enough room for a small desk, a drawer and a bed. I crouched in order not to bump my head on the ceiling and I sat down on the ground next to the desk. After a few minutes of silence I stared at the boys hopeful eyes.

“Ok kid, what are we doing here?”

He lit up like the sun and his eyes started sparkling.

“My daddy built this hut with me!” I couldn’t help but chuckle at his happiness. He responded by smiling at me even more,

“You can climb the trees, or make fire! Or just read a book while it’s raining here, the water doesn’t get through you know! You can even play with lego!” He quickly opened the bottom drawer and got a big box with lego out of it. “It’s not boring at all!” He looked up from his lego blocks and toward me again. “See? Leaving is not that hard!” I sighed.

“Kid…”

“Why were you there?” He interrupted my sentence. I sighed again.

“You sure have a lot of questions don’t you?”

“I’m sure you have a lot of answers!” He responded without hesitation.

“It’s a long story.”

“I have a lot of time.”

Another sigh. Deeper, louder, longer this time. I started talking. About my wife, my daughter. About the money that went and never came back. About the losses. About the people I hurt and the people that would hurt me. I told everything to a little kid. To that tiny listening ear with the future of despise. He listened, nodded and cried for me. I felt something rolling down my cheek. It wasn’t a tear. I don’t cry. It wasn’t a tear…

“I should go.” A little hand stopped me from standing up.

“You shouldn’t.”

“I’m dangerous.”

“You’re not.”

He started ruffling in his little backpack and got out a box and some little things.

“You should stay mister. You can use this bed.” He handed me the box, pointed to the bucket of water in the corner of the room and handed me a razor and a toothbrush, opened the drawers revealing a perfectly good suit for me.

“You should stay.” I wasn’t crying. I don’t cry.

 

“What was in the box gramps?” My face wrinkled up as I smiled. My voice was shaking, but calm.

“A sandwich. The most delicious one I ever ate and the first of many. Every morning before school the kid came by with a sandwich and every night after dinner he came by with some leftovers. That kid saved my life. I got myself a job, a family, a life. Was 29 years old back then. Couple of years to late to get back on your own feet. My best friend was a 10 year old. 50 years later I have a life.” Two tiny hands were wrapped around my arms. I kissed the forehead of my grandson and smiled.

 

Hi guys! Lately I’ll not be posting that much stuff online because I’m working on a story I’d like to keep to myself a bit longer ^_^ I’ll try to keep this blog updated a bit though with my random moments of inspiration and this was one of them. A faith in humanity restored kinda story xD

Silence

Silence is empty. There’s only you.

You’re sitting in a room. It’s not a big room, only about 6 metres squared. The door that led you there is closed and the only thing there besides yourself is the small uncomfortable chair you’re sitting in. The chair was places in the exact centre of the room. Every wall is evenly far away and out of reach, but after sitting for a while the walls seem to come closer to you, approaching you with every breath you take and slowly suffocating you. The hard wood of the chair is moving upwards as you start shaking and losing your balance. You walked inside with the hope of getting silence, cutting yourself of from the world and come to rest. Forget about everything that was around you. You were stuck inside the noise of the world. The wind blowing in your ears the rustling of the leaves the rush of the passing cars and the sound of talking people everywhere around you and the worst part… Your thoughts. Your never ending thoughts screaming inside your head never letting you go. Wandering off into the directions you fear the most, the things you suppressed and hid into the deepest corners of your mind. And all the time you longed for silence and peace. You walked inside, but you were wrong. Silence can be the most confronting thing a human being is able to encounter. When the sounds of the world finally leave you alone, the noise you have inside doesn’t go away with the rest. The noise inside is amplified, the thoughts are screaming to you as through a speaker. They ring inside your head never to leave you alone, never letting you go for even a second. Questions that you’ve put away, your deepest thoughts, everything in your head is desperately hitting the shell of your body trying to burst outside to engulf you inside. You feel your hands starting to sweat, a long and continuous shiver stars moving up your spine and spreading through your body. Panic starts to rush through your head like a buzzing wasp creating more noise inside your head.

A normal person would have given up at this point. But you’re not normal. You came with the intention of finding rest and you remain determined to find it. The only way some thoughts are resolved is by giving them space. Every thought, you go by them one by one. You think, you cry, you laugh, you confront. Silence isn’t meant for the weak minded as an escape from everything. It’s meant fro the strong minded who are ready to confront. Thought by thought you find what you’re looking for. Step by step you come closer to the silence you wanted and when the thoughts are given their rest you hear it. You hear nothing. You focus your ears and still nothing. You’re only left with yourself. Your screaming thoughts are gone but the normal flow is still there. Again confronting. You start hearing yourself. Your breath, your heartbeat, the blood rushing through your veins, the processes inside your body. After a while you start hearing yourself in a different way. Your own being. Questions like ‘Who am I’, ‘What am I doing here?’ The best moment to ask them is now. When you’re alone in the silence. When the rush is gone and you’re you. After a while you find the true meaning of rest. Rest isn’t silence. Silence isn’t real in this life. The only silence comes with death. But rest. Rest can be achieved alone, when you’re sitting with, next to and amongst your thoughts. When you feel at peace with them. You leave the room and enter the world of noise again, but this time, you’re not a part of the noise. You’re a new person, peace surrounds you. Sometimes you think back and remember to take a time in silence. Shut yourself off from the world to let out your thoughts. Once you’ve experienced the closest you can get to silence, you can never go back to the world of only noise.

 

This little story is inspired by something I read today about an anechoic chamber aka the most silent place on earth. I did a little research and found out that the longest a person ever stayed inside is 45 minutes. Everyone describes it as a unique experience and they talk about hearing all the sounds their body makes. I really want to try this chamber out once and see how long I can bear with it. I love music, but I also love silence. The problem is, I think a lot and I can see this situation I described happening to me. I tried to bring over the feelings I might have there over as much as possible. Would one of you try it once? How’d you react? Tell me what you think πŸ˜€

Six Colours

The 6 Sages

“Stop messing around!” Kate was silenced by Mike’s sudden scream. “Just stop it. You keep saying you’re bored by the normal things in life, that you want something special, something unique. Well cheers to you, you’ve got it now.” His voice became serious, his expression dark. “We’ve stumbled across something… Big, and we’re at the center of it. You are. You’re the key, Kate, and you know it. It’s not about the project anymore, it’s not about getting you about this regular life and it’s not about being unique. Right now you’re the only one that can get us out of this mess. Or rather, before getting out of it, you’re the one that can bring us deeper into it, to find the way out. Don’t think it’s gonna be easy, ’cause it’s not.” Kate was sitting and staring at him in silence. An air of guilt surrounded her. Slowly she felt herself starting to shake and she quickly looked down at her knees. I have to do this alone. A warm hand un her shoulder woke her from a daze. “It’s the same for you huh?” She looked up to his piercing blue eyes. Not too long ago the only thing she could read in them was a teasing playfulness. Now it was different. There was an overwhelming determination. She was amazed how much simply the look in his eyes could change his entire being. “You don’t care about the boredom anymore either.” She looked down again and vaguely shook her head. “Kate, I’m scared too, but we’re not alone. If this is our destiny, we’re gonna get through it, and if we can get through it, we can do it with a smile. Let’s keep smiling, together.” He took her hand and a shiver went down her spine. A wide but confident grin covered his lips. With her hand still wrapped inside his own he led her to the book. As soon as they touched it she felt an ice cold chill spreading through every nerve of her fingers. Feel the energy. Heat the energy. She glanced at Mike one more time. The sight of him somehow calmed her, gave her security. The energy rush through her. It felt as though all her senses were sharpened. She could feel the softest breath of air brushing against her cheeks, feel the slightest bit of energy flow out of her and see every detail of everything around her. The energy she felt started flowing out of her like leaking flames. The hair on her arms stood straight up. She felt afraid, but Mike’s warm, steady hand calmed her down. Times ages and dimensions merged together in taking away the differences and making one whole. Suddenly the flames exploded in different colours and spread across the room taking different shapes. The blue flame surrounded Mike. He shivered for a second, but forced himself to be steady. The shapes emerged from the fading fire. The room was filled with Seven of them. The magician and the Six sages.

Woohoooow πŸ˜€ Today during history I FINALLY broke through my writer’s block πŸ˜€ The story of ‘The Untitled’ (haven’t figured out a title yet xD) is finally starting to take a form in my head! This is a part of it way too far in the story, meaning I’m not there yet, but I don’t like chronology anyway xD But I’m looking forward to getting there! That’s why this story probably makes a lot more sense to me than it does to you right now πŸ˜› Anyway, enjoy XD

A fictional activity in the life of a lazy student

It’s not just a lack of inspiration. It’s a lack of everything that encourages you to do something. Everything that seems to give you hope of getting even a single step further in this temporary, meaningless existence. Every time you sit in front of your computer, your paper or whatever, maybe your ipad to type out something that seems of even the slightest of value, you feel your energy, your will and everything positive draining outside of your head. It’s not only for writing a story, but also for an essay, a paper, something funny to say or a clever response to someone’s witty remarks. Sometimes I can see why people find this so nerve wrecking. The only thing you feel like doing is sleeping or just randomly scrolling through meaningless, empty pictures on the internet. Every two or three pages of boredom a silent laugh escapes your mouth, your face lights up for only a small second before returning to it’s plain, emotionless state of drained will. Maybe describing this feeling will help, maybe writing it down using as many overused adjectives and the broadest vocabulary you have at your disposal, might form a plausible solution for the recurring feeling of unwillingness that continuously keeps possessing your mind. Maybe your brain will find a way to understand what you want instead of falling into this ongoing obstinacy, persisting on the emptiness in thoughts and actions. It might form a plausible solution… But it doesn’t. Writing down my feelings, sure, in these cases words come flowing out of my mind with the quick yet smooth flow of a fast river after the rainfall on a summer day. Yet when I want to write down an interesting story, filled with incredible plot twist an in depth and thoughtful story line and outstanding character development, my mind leaves me standing in the cold as it had done so many times. What will it take for a human brain to follow the will of it’s owner? Are the two intertwined, or are they, as I feel like it is the case right now, separate things functioning at own will? No, the will of a person cannot function without the brain, but the brain of this person is also dependant on the owner’s will. At the moment, none of them is listening to me and I’m left… Empty.

People underestimate to what extent procrastination can be practised in the life of a lazy person. We are expected to function at our best for years on end, we are given small breaks in between and we have to live with small moments of recovery before our full potential is to be engaged again. Full potential. For some people, this is fiction. Some people can not simply bring up the will for it. Is it a genetic disorder? Can we blame it on something easy as that? Should lazy students just be forgiven if they don’t work as hard as the rest? This would be unfair compared to their peers, it is not something I encourage even though I’m stuck in the same downward spiral as many of us might be able to relate to. On the other hand, is it fair to let some people work harder to reach the same level, due to their unsupportive genetically set information? Maybe some people just can’t work as hard as others to reach the same goal, even though they have the potential to. But this doesn’t mean anything. In the world we live in, everyone is tested according to the same rules. Is it possible to turn there rules around? Disregarding the fairness in this matter, we simply don’t have a choice now. There is no use complaining. That’s why people like this, including me, should just try to work harder to reach something, disregard their laziness and undertake action. I’ll try to get myself out of this drained feeling, because I have to prove that there’s more than that to me. If I can do it, anyone can. Now just try xD

Well, as usual this came out a lot different than I expected it would xD I was randomly chatting with Emily, and we decided to give each other the assignment to write something about ‘A fictional activity in the life of a lazy student’. Well, I started writing about my writer’s block and somehow this came out of it xD I don’t know how much sense it makes, but later when I re-read it maybe I will πŸ˜›

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