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Archive for the tag “Change”

Home is where my God is

Time for something serious. I know I’ve mentioned it before and you can pretty much count on me to mention it again, but here it goes. I LOVE GOD. Seriously. I don’t even know how to describe this. I had this dream, for years and years and I told everyone it was Going to happen and then all of a sudden I decided to stop. Yes. It came to the point where I decided to stop my Lifelong dream. Excuses like, I’m too young. There’s no money. I can’t just go. I’m scared. Well I found out you can’t really live life without being scared at least half of the time! Life begins Outside of your comfort zone and that is one of the truest quotes I know.

So God came along asking me, Hey Sam, why aren’t you following your lifelong dream? Didn’t you promise me all those years ago that you would?
“Yeah… I know…, but I’m not ready yet! Maybe in a few years?” Nope! I Am in Ghana. God Himself sent me here and right Now is the time to do what I’ve always planned on doing. So I started reading my Bible. (With a little motivation from an awesome roommate) Something I’ve neglected more than I’d care to admit. But you know what? Another continent, another mindset! I found it makes me very peaceful! 90% of the time I spend here my thoughts are all over the place. I have this huge cloud with millions of thoughts, all crammed into this little space in my head wanting to burst out. But when I read my Bible, they get sorted out along the way and one main thing gets left behind. Love. I love Ghana, I love the children at the orphanage, the children at the fishing village, I love music, I love the sea, I love volunteering, I love music and I love making people happy. But most of all, I love God. He gave me this opportunity and I came so close to wasting it. But when this guy wants something, it happens. “Hmm, so you think you’re gonna stay at home and study? That’s cute, let’s go to the other side of the world instead ok? Oh you’re gonna go. You just don’t know it yet.” And that’s only the start of it. I know now that I actually CAN travel the world and experience different things. And now I know I can, I’m absolutely sure that I will!

I most definitely escaped routine xD

I absolutely love it here! Of course I can’t really say that Ghana feels like home to me yet. I’m like this really inconsistent person. Every few days I have huge ups and equally huge downs, and I see a new part of myself each and every day. Sometimes it’s scary as flush sometimes it’s amazing! And all of the times it most definitely is completely and totally different! But even though I’m not at “home” I am where God wants me to be, giving all the love I have to kids who need and deserve it. And when I think of it, does “home” get any better than this, right here with God by my side? I think I’m actually the freaking luckiest person in the world right now. My words and writings might still be all over the place right now but my thoughts are getting more and more straightened out. Why am I here? Because God wants me to be. For now that’s all I need to know.

(But seriously God, a small hint would be great… xD No pressure though, you do know what’s best and all…)


Identity (2)

Grey in colour

It’s pretty hard to find a picture like this 😮 So I made one myself xD

“Why are we here.” They were walking around in a park. Everywhere around them there was bright sunlight, children were playing and birds were fluttering around. To him it seemed so far away from the prison he had been in for the last few days. He liked the change of pace, but his expression revealed nothing of his thoughts.

“It’s rare for you to ask questions.” She replied to him with another fake smile.

“We’ve been walking around for two hours and 13 minutes without you speaking. That is rare too.”

She chuckled. “Things can change.”

He sighed. He considered replying to her meaningless words. Change. No such thing existed in his world, nor did it in hers. But he saw no use in his reply. Instead he examined her again, as he had done so often already. For once her hair hung loose on her shoulders instead of in a tight bun. Her glasses were replaced by contact lenses and she was wearing white instead of the usual dark colours.

“You look different.” He said monotonously.

“I’m surprised you noticed.” She said. “I’m different when I’m outside of the project.”

“No.” His response was immediate and clear. “You’re not different, you lóók different. Your eyes are the same, but now you’re hiding it.”

She looked up and acted surprised, but it was clear she wasn’t. At this point she was determined to stay in control.

“Why do you know these things?” She asked him with true interest. “Why do you know who I am?”

“Observation.” He said. “Observation can bring a person a long way.”

“Observation is not enough. I’m sure it requires a special talent. Something that was in you from the day you were born. Something that makes you different from the average person.”

“I am no different from anyone.”

“Are you really not?”

His eyes narrowed for a split second, but as quickly as the hint of emotion came, it disappeared.

“Why do you want to know these things?”

She sighed. For a moment it looked as if she was considering something, but he could see in her eyes that things were going exactly as she had planned. It frustrated him, but he held the same expression. The one thing he could have was the control of his own actions. She signalled him to sit down on one of the benches.

“You’re asking me to tell you classified information, Nathan.”

“You are asking me to reveal myself to someone I do not know. My questioning you seems perfectly reasonable.”

“You talked more to me today than the two days before.”

“I speak when I deem it necessary.”

“Why is that?”

“Explain the relevance of your questioning. Do not treat me like an unknowing factor in your investigation while your true purpose was clear from the start. I refuse to be guided along your lines willingly.” His monotonous voice didn’t change, but she could hear that the coldness in it had grown. She knew that he had given her the control she had at that point, and she knew that he was ready to take it back at any point. It bothered her that she had no real control from the start. This was a game of power that she was not allowed to lose.

“This conversation must stay between the both of us.” She said.

“I will decide that after I hear the contents of it.”

She sighed again. “Very well, I’ll tell you what you need to know.”

Hello bloggers ^_^ I’m ashamed of myself… 😦 It’s been a full 24 days since I last wrote something down that made sense and now I finally did it, it’s a vague story that really didn’t add anything to the plot line 😦 At least it’s something though… I hope that the next part of this story will be a bit less vague 😛  Well we’ll see. I think it’s gonna be two blogs on one day for me today, because a lot happened and since I use my blog as a diary… (is that weird?) I’ll have to tell some things ^_^ Until the next blog 😉

Day 29: Story about space

The Extraordinary

There is no space for average. That space is meant for extraordinary. I never wanted average. It never really suited me. I always wanted more. When I learned about the space the world has, I wanted to see all of it. No, I didn’t want to. I had to. I have to. I learned about nature, but around me it was average. I learned about the trees, the flowers, the sea the sky, but everyday it got more normal. I was wondering if the sky somewhere else would be completely different, whether the grass would smell more green or the sea would sound more blue as soon as I moved to another sky. I never wanted regular, I always wanted change. The ends of the world had much more to offer, than the home that I had known so well. I wanted to see everything, live everywhere. Smell the flowers in Australia, swim in the seas of Africa and taste the cold air of Alaska. I wanted everything in my own mind. No pictures, no stories, only my own experience. No, I was never suited for normal. The world is too big for normal and when you go beyond, you find much more space. Too much to stay the same. Change is good, but change is scary. That is what makes it good. I don’t like a comfort zone, the edge is much more interesting. Instead of staying behind I want to walk as close to the edge as I can. Centimetre my centimetre I approach until I come dangerously close to the point of no return. When I reach the max I open my eyes and feel the wind on my cheeks. I stand up straight and look at what I accomplished. I look at the breathtaking view, breathe in the purest air of excitement and look straight in the eyes of what I have overcome. And what I see, it’s perfection. It’s nature as it was meant to be. Different than I saw at home, different than a picture or a story. What I see is truth, freedom and more mystery. I want to see the edge. I need to. But I won’t step over it. The border will remain one I cannot cross, but I will always see. One day I will need more than that mystery. Slowly I’ll creep back to where I was, the place with security and trust. I will say goodbye to the stunning view and to the danger. Goodbye, but not adieu. One day the border wont mean danger anymore. One day I’ll step across the line, with the security I will not fall. Extraordinary will be me. I never was average. There is no space for it in this world.


Hi everyone! First I wanted to write something random on the missing spacebar of a computer, but it turned out a bit differently. If you’re planning to ask me for an explanation for this story-ish creation, don’t come to me 😛 I don’t get it myself either! Well… I kinda get it for me, but it’s completely open to your own interpretation. It’s not really about space, but the word space is in there at least xD Enjoy figuring it out ^_^

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