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Archive for the tag “Travelling”

My brain keeps me from thinking.

“So, how are you feeling?”

“…”

How am I feeling? The good answer would probably be, I don’t know.

Seriously, the biggest thing I have ever done in my life is so close that my event calendar isn’t even counting down from 2 digits anymore. 4 days. 4!!! Some people only see a number there, but I see the day that marks the start of a different life. I’m so far away from my comfort zone right now that it feels almost surreal. Well, to be honest, my comfort zone isn’t even that big. Zone is way too big a word to describe it. Maybe it’s more of a comfort cabin, somewhere hidden in the quiet place in the woods where I live with my closest friends and family 😀 Ok… I’m getting side tracked xD

Well, this sounds like it’s a bad thing… Well it isn’t. It’s exactly what I was trying to do all my life. Throw myself out there and see what version of myself comes out at the other end. Refusing to stay the same and determined to change for the better. But even though I’m doing exactly what I wanted, what I longed for all my life… I’m scared. Maybe not really scared, but nervous. And sometimes terrified. Other times overjoyed. Ok usually I’m all over the place just like this… My brain right now is just making it very hard for me to pick one feeling at the time.. That’s normal right? After years and years of being at the same place every time, sometimes with short visits to far away places, knowing that you’ll be back soon. I’ve grown used to this. The people I love are here, the people I feel so completely and utterly comfortable with are right here and instead of just looking at this awesome thing I’ve been able to acquire, I look at it saying it’s not enough. I’m leaving everything behind for something new and I don’t even know if I’m going to like it. I’m going to miss my friends and my family so much and I just know that by going away it’s never going to be the same again. First I’ll have to get used to a completely new environment where I’ll have to go through that entire process of meeting, greeting and bonding again from square one. But when I do… I am always going to feel homesick for one place, whether I’m here or I’m there. People that are dear to me will have to get used to missing me because this will certainly not be the last time. What I do has an effect on more people than just me. My family, my church, my friends here, my future friends there… We’re all gonna learn something from this. Of course it will be hard, of course it’s normal for me to be nervous. Heck I’ll probably even have few bad days there being homesick and all. But it’s all gonna be worth it.

How do I know that? I just do. Because having said my doubts, my worries and all of the difficulties out loud, I also realize that what I’m doing has an effect on more people than just me. Not only am I going to help children build a better future for themselves, give them the love they deserve and the happiness they want, I’m showing myself and all the people around me one very important thing in life. If you want something really bad, go get it. Just follow your dreams, fight for it and get it. Anything is possible, but no one ever said it would be easy. If it was easy, it wouldn’t be a boring struggle. The bigger the fight, the better the reward! I’ve always said it’s impossible to change the world by yourself, but it’s not impossible to try anyway 🙂

All the preparations are done. I’ve had 10 injections, I’m bringing 40 pills, I have my visa, my vaccination passport, my normal passport, my flight ticket, my suitcase, my camera, my laptop, some school supplies for the kids, actual experience! *cough* half a lesson teaching English at my old school *cough*, all the addresses I need, all the phone numbers, my common sense, of course my awesomeness and as cheesy as it might sound, I have God going with me 😀 I’m ready! The nerves have to make place for something better now. Excitement!! 😀

The closest image I could find to what I kinda feel like xD

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Countdown!!

And when I say countdown, I literally mean a countdown. As I said before, I am going to Ghana for 8 months! And I’m leaving in about 58 days 18 hours and 36 minutes. Ok ok, I don’t know the exact time I’m leaving yet, but this is my best guess for now.

So since I’ve been radio silent for the past weeks I’m gonna tell something about my journey to the unknown. First if all I must say I underestimated the preparations! Here is a short summary of everything I had and still have to do:

– Contact Dream Africa Care Foundation to tell them I’m coming to Ghana 😀

– Contact the Dutch health bureau or however you call that in English to see what vaccinations I need and what they will cost me.

– Contact another health bureau where they have a cheaper Rabies vaccination,

– Find out they’re turning me into Swiss cheese with a total of 11 vaccinations and a Mantoux test.

– Desperately call my insurance and finding out they pay every vaccination, except for the most expensive ones.

– Take a picture of myself for my passport.

– Take apart every thing in the house to find my old passport so I can get my new passport.

– Actually go and get my passport.

– Talk to the nice steward in church to help me arrange a cheap flying ticket.

– Call the embassy of Ghana and ask them, pretty please can I just have a visa for an entire year instead of just half a year?   

– Go on a wild shopping spree to get everything I need (Including an impregnated mosquito net, an anti mosquito cream thing with DEET in it, and lots of shorts for it will probably be hot.

– Study on how to teach English!

– Give about 2 or 3 tearful goodbye parties

– Be excited as flush O.O 😀

Yeah I think that’s pretty much it for now 😛 Well my list keeps on expanding though but I think it will do ^^. I’m really really excited to go to Ghana, but I’m more excited to just be there xD Here in NL I can slowly feel my wallet being drained and I just pray that there’s enough left to get there! Also I’m desperately searching for a job, because apparently no one wants an employee who leaves in 2 months. Before they said it was because they didn’t need anyone and before that I just didn’t have enough experience xD Well I will keep praying until I get to Ghana and I’ll keep believing that God will provide 😛

Another awesome thing about this all is that it’s making me feel so independent. Ok everyone who knows me also knows that I can be a tad… *uhum* childish xD  But here I am planning the biggest trip of my life all by myself 😀 Hehehe. Look at me, I got my first 4 vaccinations and here I am feeling all grown up 😛 I’ll get back on this subject the day before I leave and then I’ll see if I really managed to do this by myself xD For now I’ll just keep imagining how awesome this is going to be *_*

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Only about 58 days 18 hours and 2 minutes left 😀 LETS DO THIS

Day 29: Story about space

The Extraordinary

There is no space for average. That space is meant for extraordinary. I never wanted average. It never really suited me. I always wanted more. When I learned about the space the world has, I wanted to see all of it. No, I didn’t want to. I had to. I have to. I learned about nature, but around me it was average. I learned about the trees, the flowers, the sea the sky, but everyday it got more normal. I was wondering if the sky somewhere else would be completely different, whether the grass would smell more green or the sea would sound more blue as soon as I moved to another sky. I never wanted regular, I always wanted change. The ends of the world had much more to offer, than the home that I had known so well. I wanted to see everything, live everywhere. Smell the flowers in Australia, swim in the seas of Africa and taste the cold air of Alaska. I wanted everything in my own mind. No pictures, no stories, only my own experience. No, I was never suited for normal. The world is too big for normal and when you go beyond, you find much more space. Too much to stay the same. Change is good, but change is scary. That is what makes it good. I don’t like a comfort zone, the edge is much more interesting. Instead of staying behind I want to walk as close to the edge as I can. Centimetre my centimetre I approach until I come dangerously close to the point of no return. When I reach the max I open my eyes and feel the wind on my cheeks. I stand up straight and look at what I accomplished. I look at the breathtaking view, breathe in the purest air of excitement and look straight in the eyes of what I have overcome. And what I see, it’s perfection. It’s nature as it was meant to be. Different than I saw at home, different than a picture or a story. What I see is truth, freedom and more mystery. I want to see the edge. I need to. But I won’t step over it. The border will remain one I cannot cross, but I will always see. One day I will need more than that mystery. Slowly I’ll creep back to where I was, the place with security and trust. I will say goodbye to the stunning view and to the danger. Goodbye, but not adieu. One day the border wont mean danger anymore. One day I’ll step across the line, with the security I will not fall. Extraordinary will be me. I never was average. There is no space for it in this world.

 

Hi everyone! First I wanted to write something random on the missing spacebar of a computer, but it turned out a bit differently. If you’re planning to ask me for an explanation for this story-ish creation, don’t come to me 😛 I don’t get it myself either! Well… I kinda get it for me, but it’s completely open to your own interpretation. It’s not really about space, but the word space is in there at least xD Enjoy figuring it out ^_^

Day 15: Write about a stranger you see. Either their back-story or what they are thinking in the moment you see them.

The travelling stranger

He clenched the train ticket in his hands and looked anxiously at the train in front of him. He could choose not to step inside and to stay behind. He never wanted to leave, he never even learnt how to. But he knew he had to. He stepped into the train and looked back at al that he was about to leave behind. The woman looking at him was holding the hands of their five year old son. The little boy kept on pulling her arm repeating the same question over and over. “When is Daddy coming back?” In her other arm she was holding a two year old girl who’s face was covered in the tears that were flowing out of her eyes. The woman had no free hands to wave him goodbye with. All she could do was nod in his direction. Her mouth whispered the soundless words, their last ‘I love you.’ In her eyes he saw the tears she was desperately trying to push back while he was trying to do the same thing. He waved at her as he saw the doors closing in front of him and he kept on waving until she was completely out of sight. He looked at his ticket and read the letters that pointed out his destination again. He spent his entire journey feeling uncomfortable and anxious about following the right way. He must have asked at least ten times whether he was travelling in the right direction. People who felt sorry for him were kind enough to help him on his way. “Where are you going? Who is going to pick you up? Can you find the rest of your way?” No. I’m lost, I don’t know if I can go on like this. That’s what he wanted to say, but he didn’t. Of course he appreciated their help and their concern, but he didn’t want the pity. They couldn’t help him anyway. “My friend will come. Is this Utrecht?” There was no friend. There was someone, but he was no friend. The person who came to get him took him by the arm and led him through the unknown city. They didn’t speak. They couldn’t understand each other and neither of them was willing to try. They arrived at a big grey building filled with people like him. People who left their families, just like him. People who were willing to give up everything for that one little thing in life we all yearn for. Money. To feed the ones they would never be able to see again. His life had ended at that moment, in order for his loved ones to have one. “We arrived. This is your new home.” It would never be home, because his heart wasn’t in it. He had left his home behind in Serbia, for good.

Hey guys! Well, this was an awfully depressing story… Which is why it’s also a bit shorter than usual. When I was getting back home from Brussels I met this stranger in the train. He was looking anxious all the time and he told me he was coming from some country starting with an S. (I forgot…) I wanted to help him, but I couldn’t talk with him because of language difficulties >.< I just had a feeling he wasn’t that happy and I’m praying for him his journey ended a lot happier than the guy in this story… Well, it’s also important to think about less good things sometimes right? To be able to enjoy all the Blessings we’re having in our lives even more (that sounds kinda mean… Well, you know what I mean XD) Well, with this story I did the day 15 I left open a while ago ^_^

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